Randomness

It seems that no matter how much i try not to think about certain things, they keep popping up in my head. Even if i try and lie to myself and say its okay, it always comes back. I guess maybe i should talk about it, but whenever i do, i feel like it gets nowhere, so idk what to do. If i bring it up, im not going to get the response i want, so i just dont bother, and then just let it build til i explode...which isnt good either, so idk. Oh wells. Nuff for now.
~sarah

Bleh.

Well work was alright, got to feeling light headed twice tonight though....idk what's up with this, but if it continues for a week or so longer, i might go to the doctors just to make sure everything is alright. Idk if maybe I've gotten diabetes or maybe sugar just drops to low or what, but its such an odd feeling. Who knows?! It could be just exhaustion and that I'm doing to much with work and everything else that I'm spreading myself too thin, but whatever it may be, i hope it goes away soon. Sigh.

Anywhos....i talked to  my bestie tonight! I miss her! I haven't seen her in many many moons! She and lacy are the only two people i keep in contact with from high school. Though i have recently reconnected with maia so that has been nice. :). But omg kristen! She is such a fun person to be around and she makes me stand up for myself when everyone else is driving me nuts! And i love her for that...she looks out for me, from a distance, but i know her love and support is always there if i need her! :)

Hmmmm.....nothing to pressing on my mind tonight, not like last night anyways. :/  well i got home tonight and saw the lights on, and i got excited bc i thought my boyfriend would be up and i could talk to him and cuddle with him and he would make me feel better...but nope, he was passed out asleep, so I'm sad about that, bc i need some good quality cuddle time with him, and just a little reassurance on some things. But oh well..maybe tomorrow since we both have the day off!! 

We are going to get pictures done on the am with Kim. I'm suuuuuper excited about them bc i know they will turn out great! Her pictures always do! So I'm very much looking forward to a great and successful shoot tomorrow! :)   but for now i sit wide eyed and awake in the dark on my phone, typing this up...I'm not telling anyone I'm back into the blogging thing, and am instead going to see how long it takes anyone to notice. ...mostly am not saying anything bc idk how much I'm gonna keep it for...i kind of go in waves with this, I'm good about for a few months and then i slack off forever, and so on and so forth..so we shall see what happens this time. 

Well, I'm gonna attempt the whole sleeping thing, wish me luck!

Night night
<3  sarah

Insecurities..

Oiy! I have been feeling really insecure these past couple of days, and i don't know why. I'm sure some of it is linked to my period, bc that always sends my emotions into overdrive, but i know another part also has to do with an accidental discovery i made the other day on accident. I don't want to get into to much detail about it, bc if a certain someone reads this, i don't want them taking my words the wrong way. ...and i know i cant talk to them about it, bc the last time i tried (over a different matter) it blew up in my face and i became the bad guy. ...but anyways, back to my rant...

I consider myself to be pretty secure in who i am, and how i feel about myself, however, i have my momenta where i see someone "prettier" than me, and i get jealous of them....not because i want what they have, but bc of how i see myself. And at that moment, i don't see myself as "pretty"

I have these moments in my relationship too. I know deep down in my heart my boyfriend would never cheat on me, nor would he want to, but when i see a girl on TV, or some crazy bad ass scene with a confident woman, i can't help but wonder if he ever thinks, even just for a second, that he wished i was that way.
(I mostly bring this up when referring to... um how shall i word this... "doing the nasty") i have zero experience outside of him, so obviously in not a super pro at a lot of things, but i want be, for him and for me. And so when i see or hear him make little comments (jokingly of course) i still cant help but wonder if maybe part of what he's saying is true...that he wished i was better at the nasty..haha. but no really, so ups my insecurities. Ugh, and me being me, just does nothing for the fear of looking stupid and not doing it right and only letting myself down in the end. So idk, i just needed an outlet to put my thoughts down, nobody will read this..they never do, but at least its off my chest... 

Well bed time. Final in the am.
Love love
~sarah

Ugh!

Sometimes i just don't understand men....meh, make that always. Why is it they feel the need the tune you out, or answer your question, and then turn around and get upset at you for putting/doing the wrong thing? Its not our fault you weren't listening to us in the first place. So give us a break once in awhile and don't get so upset when we are just doing what you said in the first place. Gah!!!  

Anyways..just felt like ranting.

Oiy.

Well if ever i have been ready to move in with nathan, these last couple of days have certainly made it more so. Im starting to get the feeling that im a bother to be in my own house. I feel like im burdening everybody being at the house and needing to ask for help with jayden. I dont feel like i want to study unless jayden is asleep bc i dont want to ask anyone to watch him. Im ready for all of us to be together and be a family. I love my boys so much, and i know nate misses jayden when we go, i can see it in his face, and it saddens me to have to leave. Ive thought about seeing if it would be okay if nathan came and stayed here for a little while to help out, but idk if he'd want to, or even what my parents would say to that. I think we both really thought we would have our own place by now, and i think things on my end are changing little by little. The thing that brings this comment on is tonight my mom told me she and my sister were going to go and run errands, and, out of curiosity, i asked where. She said shopping, and when i asked what mall my mom seemed disgusted when she told me concord mills. I got the impression to be that i was saying something wrong when all i did was ask. So needless to say im soooo ready to find a house with nathan and move out of here and in with him.

......

Well today was supposed to start my gluten free diet, but i forgot to research it, so instead i decided to go to panera bread and eat a healthy lunch. I tried their bbq chicken chopped salad...and might i say how delicious it is!!! I will def. Get this again!!!  Secretly wishing i had more time on break than an hour... itll be nice if nate and i worked near each other and we could, on occasion meet on our break for lunch. :)  im still really hoping that we are able to get this house. It will be so nice to finally live together!!! 

So my grandparentz come into town on Wednesday for my cousins graduation. Which btw, im so proud of her for getting this far!!  Shes such an awesome person and i love for it!!!  :) but on the note of my grandparents...i have wed and thur off from work which is great because i never get the time to spenxw with anyone when they are in town...so im glad i have a couple of days off!!

So im so glad i went here for lunch. Im so relaxed and i dont feel like i was in work at all. Which is such a wonderful feeling because work is driving me nuts. Another reason why i hope this house pans out. If we do get it i will be able to transfer to another store and get a slight change od scenery which is much needed right about now. Also if i cant, for whatever reason, transfer, then i will start job hunting for something else instead. I meed to be doing that now, but with the potential of us moving, im not sure if i should look in rock hill or if i should look around here. :/   maybe a place where i could work here Nd transfer there. :) 

Well...im about of time...work calls my name. :(  but i will write more later!!! Adios everybody.  -sarah

Potentially great news!!!!!

So when nathan was here yesterday he told me that he may have found us a house!!!!!!  Im really excited and i hope it works out. I would love to rent a house instead of an apartment, i think ot woild give us a lot more space and privacy. :)  im trying though not to get toooo excited in case something goes awry and we arent able to move in right away. But i do think the fact that its a possibility is good enough in itself. But i jist wanted to post that little bit about a possible home for us!!!!!  :) :) :)
Well im off to bed. Love y'all
-sarah-

Well, Well, Well...

I guess I should start with the thing that's most prominent in my brain right now. That would have to be work. Last night at work my manager, Leslie, asked me if I wanted to be full time. She said "Sarah, since I'm giving you full time hours anyways, do you want to be full time?" I didn't really hesitate and told her yes of course. She asked if I was sure, and I said yes. When I was offered it I knew I should take it b/c Nathan and I need the money and more hours is always great, but as time went on that night and I really started thinking about it, I realized I had made a mistake for myself. Don't get me wrong, if I was working anywhere else 33-35 hours a week wouldn't be an issue, but this job at Belk is AWFUL! We are over worked, yelled at for things that are out of our control, no managers are able to be reached when we need help, it's realy stressful, and 9 out of 10 times I come home so exhausted that I don't even have the energy to take care of my son at night. That for me is a problem. I shouldn't be working at a job where I'm so overwhelmed every time I come into work that I'm driven to exhaustion by the time I get home. It's just not good for me. Anyways, that being said, I called Leslie this morning and told her after thinking about it some more, I really just don't want to have full time hours, and asked if she could drop my hours back down. (I know Nathan wasn't to thrilled when I told him, b/c I know how relieved he probably was to hear I finally got full time, but it's not worth it for me to be miserable and tired all the time.....Trust me baby, I did us both a favor...you know how I get when I'm tired..imagine me like that 24/7 b/c of work...NOT GOOD) With that though, I have promised myself that I'm going to start hunting for a second job. I'm applying to a place over in Birkdale called Talbots. It's a clothing store, but I'm sure it won't be nearly as stressful as working at Belk. I have also decided that if I'm offered the same hourly rate of pay or higher and full time hours where ever else I apply to, I'm going to take it, without hesitation. However, if they can't offer me full time hours, I'm going to tell them my availability is sunday-wednesday, and I will let Belk know that I can only work Thursday-Saturday. Which they probably won't like to much, but I need it to keep me sane, without the potential of another job, I'm going to get pushed to my breaking point if I stay there. I refuse to quit, though, no matter how bad it gets, I won't be without a job. I did that once, and finding work was a MAJOR, pain in the ass. Not to mention I'm pretty sure at that point Nathan might actually break up with me...and not just joke about it anymore. haha. but no really...i just don't know. :p  But aside from work and all the drama that is involved there, I'm doing alright. Jayden is getting cuter and cuter every day, and he's getting so close to crawling now! I'm so excited for him to get to the next step in his growing. He's such a good little boy! :-)  Nathan and I took him down to the lake the other day and he had a blast. He liked splashing in the water and eating the sand. It was a nice day trip and I enjoyed spending time with Nathan. We don't get to see other to often much these days with out work schedules being so opposite, so on the days we do have a day off together I like to spend it with him, doing, whatever. :)  Speaking of, things with us are going well. We are still getting along, and (unfortunately) still looking for a place to live. I think we both thought by this point we would have found something, but nothing seems to turn up. We aren't really rushing it, b/c we know we don't want to end up in over our heads in something we can't afford to do, but at the same time I'm so ready for us to be together and be a family. I'm ready to take on the role of "mommy" and cook and do some of the cleaning for my boys, and just enjoy each others company.....Well I'm getting distracted so I'm going to get off of here for now and find myself and tiny man some food!
...Until Later...

<3 Sarah <3

Photo Trick

So I was reading this article on the internet and it was talking about little things you could do to lose weight. One of the suggestions was to take a picture of everything you were going to eat (over the course of a week) and post it into a blog and write a little something about it. The purpose is to open up your eyes to what you are consuming and hopefully help you to chose more healthy snacks and healthy options. I mean, who wants to show everybody they ate 2 greasy cheeseburgers, an entire bag of popcorn, 4 brownies, a ham sandwich, bowl of ice cream, some chips, and wash it all down with 5 cans of soda throughout the day...  I certainly wouldn't. So this has inspired me to try this out and take pictures of what I'm eating for one week, in hopes, that I, too, will choose more healthy options to eat. So starting tomorrow I will blog to you what I ate for the day, and we will see just how much this really works. I do believe that this will something that will honestly help me out. I'm also going to see about getting batteries for our wii fit bored so I can start doing some wii fit in the afternoons or after work to help me unwind and relax...I know you are thinking, how does working out help you relax? Well for me it will reduce anxiety, and help me to burn out the last little bits of energy I have left so that I will be fully exhausted and able to get a good nights sleep. I'm also going to start taking Jayden for walks around my neighborhood on all my days off so we will be able to get outside and I can walk some more. Another thing that will be good for me, our pool opens up at the end of the month, and my mom got Jayden this pool float, so once that is opened, we will go to the pool and layout in the sunshine and splash and enjoy being in the water. :-) Those are just a few things I need to start doing. I'm tired of being this size, so I hope by the end of the year that just maybe I can drop at least one pants size or two...that would be nice. So anyways...

Well I have to change Jayden and then I'm going to work on yet another puzzle and maybe watch some more TV. Love to all!

~Sarah~

Something I've been thinking about..

So I've been really thinking a lot about joining a gym recently. I have been having a hard time recently feeling comfortable in my skin (that's the best way to put it, saying I feel fat just sounds ugly). I've been having a hard time b/c none of my clothes are fitting me anymore and I had to pull my jeans down from the closet that used to be to big for me. It's hard b/c I see all these girls who are ideally what I want to look like and I can't help but feel huge. I felt great when I was pregnant with Jayden, and then afterwords when I had lost 10lbs I felt even better, but now that I'm not longer nursing, started birth control, and have been working, I haven't been eating like I should, and I'm starting to gain the weight back. I'm feeling down about myself these days and so I have been thinking a lot about seriously considering joining a gym. I would ideally love to find something that offers childcare and also has free personal trainers or offers one at a low rate. I think I would benefit from somebody being able to tell me what I need to work on in order to see results, and not just going in there gun-ho hoping it will work. I know they would help to motivate me and keep me going. So it's just been something I have been thinking about b/c I want to be a few sizes smaller. I'm not looking to be a stick thin skinny mini by any means, but just have a flat stomach and be healthy. I'm thinking this would help me to feel better about my recent weight gain if I did something to help improve it. I don't want end up a huge fatty that nobody wants to go out into public with. So anyways, I have been seriously considering it, but idk how it works or anything like that, and most of the websites are really vague when it comes to cost. I looked up a few and they offer childcare (which would be a plus with jayden) and some of them are also open 24 hours, which could be nice with my crazy working schedule and sometimes having to work late hours. Idk if I would join an all women's gym, or if I would join one that's co-ed. That way if nathan ever wanted to join at a later date, we could work together, which might be nice. But idk, it's just something I have been thinking about. On the other hand I'm really torn with the idea b/c I'm supposed to be saving money so that when nathan and I are living together (which that hasn't been going so well..more on that in a minute)  we will have some money put back, and that makes it hard to do anything and spend any money at times b/c I hear this voice in my head that says I shouldn't spend money, and I need to save it all; however, this is something I think would be worth the investment. IDK, I guess I will just mull it over for a bit and see what I decide to do at a later date.

On another note, Nathan and I have been hunting and hunting for a place to live. We found one place in Rock Hill that fits our budget, but we wouldn't have anybody close by to watch Jayden, and the cost of daycare would be to much. All the places around me are waaay to expensive and near him, most of them are low income. It really sucks b/c we make to much b/w the both of us to afford the low income houses, and we don't make enough to be able to afford something a little bit nicer, so it's really put us in quite a bit of a pickle for finding some that will work for us. I'm remaining hopeful, but it's discouraging every time we realize we can't find a place. Now that Jayden is getting bigger, I really want us to be around so Nathan can spend lots of time with him and play with him when he's not working. I always feel bad when I have to leave from his house and come back up here. Nathan is going to check out a place near him on wednesday so i'm hoping he will get some good news and it might be a place we could not only afford to do, but also one that is decent on the inside. I'm trying to stay positive, but sometimes it's hard. :/

Well I want to write to more, but I have to get ready for work. Now that Jayden is getting bigger, I have more time to be able to update this on the regular, so I'm going to try and get in at least one posting a week, if not more, so be sure to check back for the rest of them!

Love to everybody!
<3 Sarah <3

absentmindedness

So I was going to blog about something but to heck if I actually remember what it was. :/  hmmm, I guess I can talk about my birthday. It was a pretty wonderful day. Mom and I took Jayden to the park in the morning and then we had to run up to the hospital so mom could fill out a paper she needed to. After she filled out her paper we went to our favorite salad restaurant (field of greens) and ate some lunch. After lunch we came back to the house and hung out for awhile and rested. After that I decided I wanted to go to diner at Cheddars so we did and it was quite delicious. After dinner I went and picked up my pay check, which was a nice surprise, and then afterwords we stopped by dairy queen to get a delicious ice cream cake. After that we went and opened presents and I got a lot of really nice things. mom got me an egg mcmuffin maker and some brownie pops, as well as an entire cook book dedicated to brownies! yummm!!!  I did really miss Nathan all day though. I might be seeing him tomorrow and I really hope so, b/c I feel like it's been forever since I've seen him. Things with us are going well. I love him more each day.
So I went and picked up my paycheck, it was way more than I was expecting. I made 393 and some change. I was glad to see that number, especially since I had to give some of it away to mom for my birthday clothes and Nate's present. (WHICH, BY. THE. WAY. I'm still waiting for it to come in the mail.) I'm hoping it shows up soon, I may give it to him sooner than that and then do something else for him when the time actually comes..I have some other good ideas. :)
Oh man have I been totally confused today. I have gone from thinking it's tuesday, to monday, to sunday, when in fact it's actually saturday. IDK why my brain is all confused, but for whatever reason I have been so turned around on my weeks and days, it's crazy.
So side note...and totally random, I'm thinking about switching my birth control to something different. The one I'm on has been working, but now b/c of work and b/c I've gotten busier I'm getting absent minded, or I'm working and not able to take it at the same time every night, which means it doesn't work as effectively, and that's not good, so I'm contemplating getting something like mirena where it's placed inside me and I don't have to think about it and I'm protected for 5 years. But I have to ask some questions about it and find out if it also has weight gain as a side effect, b/c if so, I may try something else. That's another reason why I want to switch what I'm taking b/c since I started the pill I've gained about 10 lbs. :( and I'm pretty sure it's due to the pill. Afterall it says on the package as a side effect, may cause weight gain. I guess I was hoping it wouldn't happen to me. :/  ...anyways I'm heading to bed..
Night Y'all
<3 Sarah <3

Happy Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!    ...okay that is all...  lol! :-p

Short Thought..

OMG! So tonight 3 different people asked me if I was pregnant..that makes like 6 people in the last week to assume so...unless they know something I don't....which I hope they don't, I'm thinking maybe it's time I break out my wii fit and start working out...this is just getting terrible. I keep lying to people and saying yes to keep them from feeling bad..b/c if I say no, it just gets really akward really fast..and I'd rather not deal with that, and make them feel bad, so lying never hurt. lol...but seriously, if this many people are thinking I look pregnant then it's time to do something about that..especially since it's getting into summer and all the cute short shorts and tank tops and swimming suits are coming out, and I want to look alright in them, and if I look pregnant I won't be able to pull any of those off..so I should start working on that so it doesn't get bad...also should probably not stuff my face with pizza and chinese food on my break at the mall anymore..and TRY REALLY REALLY hard to stay AWAY from the frozen yogurt stand I discovered there. :/  but yea, anyways, that's my little rant for tonight. It's midnight and Jayden is alseep, so I should probably follow him and do that same thing.
Night Might!
<3 SaRah <3

Bleh..

Let's see...well, this week has been crazy! I was at Nathan's from Sunday night to Thursday morning, and it was nice to be able to spend that much time with him. Even though we both had to work on opposite days, I liked coming back to his place at the end of my work shift and knowing he would be there at the end of the day. It was nice b/c Jayden was able to spend time with him as well, which is important because he needs to see him as often as possible. In fact, he's down there right now and they are going on a fun trip tomorrow with him, which I'm excited for Jayden and Nathan! :-) I can't wait to hear how their day goes tomorrow!
But yea, while I was down at Nate's the last couple of days there I started feeling kind of icky, and I wasn't sure what was going on. I kept going from being hot and chilled, and feeling nauseous to feeling alright, it was really weird. Then last night I had to go work and I really felt beat, and it was only a short shift thank goodness, b/c it was miserable, I felt so hot and tired, I was so ready to come home. The minute I walked into the door I hear Jayden screaming his head off b/c my mom thought she would let him cry himself to sleep, and no matter how I told her he wasn't gonna fall asleep that way, I couldn't let him cry. So I ended up intervening and made her give him a bottle while I laid down and tried to sleep. Well after the bottle he woke back up and started crying again, so I went in and picked him up and threw him in the swing, and within seconds he was knocked out so I decided to head to bed finally. Well that was short lived, b/c a few hours later I woke up feeling horrible, and my stomach was upset and I felt really icky. I knew at that point that I wasn't going to be able to make it to work this morning and I just laid on the couch the rest of the morning and rested while my mom helped out with Jayden. After I woke up and took a shower, I got up and held Jayden for a bit and cuddled with him on the couch before Nate's family came and got him at around 1:45pm to take down there for their adventure tomorrow. I was glad Nathan wanted him to come down there even though I couldn't make it, I was hoping he would still take him since they were talking about doing it all week.
I miss little man being around here, it's weird not having him here, but at the same time it's nice, b/c I'm able to rest up and get to feeling better, which I need to do. Also my mom had to work tonight so if Jayden was being exceptionally fussy like last night, it would have been hard on me to care for him when I feel so icky. So I'm thankful Nathan is there to help out, and wanted to take him for the day! :-)
My family member on my grandma's side, Linda, sent us a box of baby clothes with a couple of blankets and some washcloths and towels in it for little Jayden. The clothes are really cute and she's so thoughtful for sending them to us. We always appreciate every little thing anybody does for us.
My job is going really well, though I did have to call out today b/c I wasn't feeling well, but hopefully that won't be to much of an issue. :/ I suppose if something does come up I will just tell it like it is and that will be that. I mean they are in huge need of people to work there so I don't think they would fire me for being sick...I hope.
Alright, well it's getting late, and I should probably call it a night and head to bed and get some rest so I'm not uber wiped out tomorrow.
Love to all...
~Sarah~

YAY!!

So today at work my manager, Leslie, informed me, in more detail, about the pre-sale that we are doing. Basically if you have a belk card, you're able to hold your merchandise until wednesday or later and you can purchase it for 25% off. I was told that by next wednesday, when pre-sale is over, I have to have sold a total of $380. Well today I pre-sold about $280, so now I only have $100 more to go!!!!!   Yea! I really needed to get my pre-sale in, b/c I haven't been able to get anybody to open up a credit card yet, and I'm supposed to be getting at least 1 every week. I'm not sure what's going to happen if I don't get them to open one up, but I suppose it's only a matter of time before I find out. :/  I also figured out how I can check what my sales goals are for the day, so now I always check in on that periodically throughout my shift to see how well I'm doing. Today I sold over $2,000, which is pretty good I would say! I'm sure in time I will do a lot more than that, but it's hard when everybody else is jumping in there to try and capture the sale. :/ But oh well, all I can do is my best, and so far that's what I've been doing!

I have the day off tomorrow, and that'll be nice b/c I have to go to Nathan's and drop off little man for a couple of days so he can stay with his daddy and hang out. I'm thinking that I might not come back down there until Tuesday night, but I'm not sure yet. It's just a lot of driving back and forth for me when I have to work both monday and tuesday. I was kind of thinking I would drop him off sunday night and stay then leave from his house monday to head to work, and then not go back down until I got off of work on tuesday to pick him up...that way I wouldn't have to drive back and forth, but idk b/c I would really miss little man, and it'd be nice to stay with Nathan....maaaaybe I could convince him to come hang out up here..lol. Nah, probably a bad idea, not to mention Nathan would  be bored out of his mind, b/c there isnt really a whole lot to do around here. I think he'd be better off to stay at his house anyways and hang out with tiny there.

UGH! So we found out there was an additional hospital bill that we still have to pay that hasn't been covered yet, which totally sucks b/c it's going to be 300 something, and that's 300 we could have used for our house fund. :/  Though I do suppose it's best to get it out of the way now so we don't have to worry about it when we are living in our house. We only have 9 more months left to pay on the other bills, and that one will be fully paid off and we won't have to worry any more about hospital bills!!  And that will be such a relief!! The only thing now I have to start picking up is my credit card bill. After this month, I'm only going to be using it for gas purchases so that hopefully it won't get to outrageous every month. Eventually.....maybe once my contract is up, I will take over my cell phone bill and I can start paying for that one, so it's one less my parents have to worry about covering. I'm thankful they have been helping out up to this point, but I think it's time that I start taking over my bills little by little. I'm thinking about writing up a separate contract for myself when my plan expires in August so I will know how much it would be month, and it would make me feel less dependent on other people.

I'm trying to be as independent as possible, b/c once Nathan and I get our house, I would feel better if I wasn't needing to still rely on my parents for help with bills and what not. I want to take over what I have, and at some point I will probably sit down with my dad and come with a rough estimate of what each bill is, like car insurance, phone, etc...all the things they are covering for me and eventually I will be taking over, so I will know what my total cost would be each month for everything I would be paying for. I think it would be smart for me to know so that then I would be able to budget my money and spend wisely with what I would need for those bills and what I would need for Jayden and what, if any, I would have left extra to put aside for savings. I'm thinking that will be this months plan, to come with a rough estimate of what each thing would be. Maybe then I could draft up a seperate car insurance plan with a company and get a better rate..or something like that..who knows?! But It's something I need to focus of thinking about since at some point I'm going to need to become independent of them.

So my birthday is coming up this month, I'm not really sure what to ask for, the main thing that comes to mind is money so I can start saving up for our house fund, and other such things. My grandma is letting me go shopping and pick out some cute things at work, so I think that's going to be something I do tomorrow at some point when I'm bored in the afternoon. Our extra discount ends tomorrow, so I need to take advantage of it while I still can. I would be getting 20% off my total purchase, and then an additional 20% off of whatever that first total came out to be...so it would end up being about 30% off total or something like that..I'm not really sure. but basically if I got a shirt that was originally 29.99, with my discount, I would be getting it for 19.50...so I would essentially save about 10 bucks...not so terrible, but also not the best it could get. I will try to keep my initial cost under 20 if i can and I won't exceed $100, b/c then I would feel really terrible. I'm going to try and find a light weight cover up and try on some of our really cute tops we have. I have had my eye on a lot of things, but after trying them on, hopefully I will only really love a couple of them...it will make having to pick and choose a LOT easier. I always love it when I walk into a dressing room with like 10 tops and walk out with about 2..it makes my decision making much easier..though it's also kind of depressing at the same time, especially if i really need to find something. I'm also thinking about trying on our various brands of jeans, b/c we have a lot of great styles and they all come in my size, I just don't have any idea how they would fit, so we will see.

But yea, anyways, right now I'm texting Nathan and watching "The Walking Dead" As well as watching Jayden sleeping in his swing. I'm almost afraid to move him. AW SNAP, I just realized it's 11pm and we are supposed to be losing an hour of sleep tonight due to daylight savings time. I'm thinking that I'm going to get off of here and head to bed for the night. Everybody else has turned in except for brian and his friend. My mom and sister are leaving for Michigan in the morning at about 5:30am, so they went to bed early...it's going to be a long drive for them, but I'm sure they will find things to talk about to keep them entertained. :-) Well, anywhos, time to take my butt to bed!
Night Might!

~Sarah~

Pictures..

 This is my little man, he was lying on the table and smiling so sweetly I couldn't resist taking a picture of him.

This one...well it reminded me of Nathan, so I had to share. lol! :-)  Love you! <3

 LOL!!

OMG! I want one of these!!  

Well, I have yet to use any of them...but if I'm anything like my mom..i will use them all! lol!

This is what drinking to much coca-cola will do to you...

I wonder if kids ever think this?!

This makes me chuckle.

I don't think I can top this one..so I'm gonna end it here..LMAO!

UPDATE:

Well, where to start? Hmmm...Well I had an emotional breakdown last night (first one in a VERY long time..guess it was due?)  b/c I was feeling bad that I get to spend so much with Jayden and Nathan so little. It broke my heart just thinking about it, so I won't get into it again b/c I don't want to wind up sad, but the jist was I realized just how precious all the moments are that I do spend with him, and how much I know Nathan wants to be with us so badly.

I'm thankful I went on birth control b/c I have a feeling that if I wasn't on it, I'd be having a lot more meltdowns. The hormones in the birth control some how have made me less emotional than I normally would be, but since I was taking an antibiotic this past week, it threw them all out of wack and I'm honestly not surprised it hit me like it did. I mean I was in like full on meltdown mode, it was awful.

On another note, I'm working a lot now it seems and I really still love my job. I opened today, which was a first, and, to be be honest, I'm not sure if I'd rather open or close. I like both, but I almost feel like I get out earlier if I close than open...but who really knows. It also was OMG slooooow today. I had time to recover (or organize, size and straighten...for those of you who don't speak retail) all of the tables in my section and the other section. I was working in petites today and normally I work in modern sportswear. I went over and helped the other girls by recovering their denim tables and denim wall by the time my shift was over. I finished that and STILL had over an hour left to figure out what to do. to some extent I was kind of thankful that I had didn't have much to do, b/c I bought these new shoes on my break, and they were killing my feet after about 30 minutes and giving me blisters...I'm contemplating taking them back and exchanging them for a different pair, but I think if I wear them with socks or some type or hose/stockings, I should be okay..or so I hope. My boots I went into work wearing are okay for the first 3 hours but after that they end up killing my feet.

Jayden is still doing well, though he isn't able to eat carrots or any other orange baby food, b/c he keeps having a reaction to the dye in it. Speaking of dye, I talked to my mom about dying my hair blonde, but she said if I want to I'll have to pay for it since she is covering the cost of my counseling for anxiety (which starts tomorrow). So I suppose that will have to wait, or maybe I could add it to my birthday list, eh, who knows. I would use my paycheck to do it, but I'm planning on using that for something for Nathan.....and no hun, I'm not going to tell you what it is..lol!

I'm trying to watch the walking dead while blogging so I can get caught up on it, but it's to difficult for me to focus on what I want to say here and also follow the story line there. I usually end getting so far behind that I have about 3 episodes to catch up on at any given time. However, this week I'm only behind 2 episodes, so that's not to terrible. :-)

Tomorrow after I get off of work I'm going to take Jayden down to Nate's so he can spend some time with him while I'm working and he's off for a couple of days. I have to work wednesday, so I will leave from his house and go to work, and then come back down there and spend thursday with him and Jayden. Maybe the weather will be nice and we could take Jayden to the park or something like that. It'd be nice to go back to the one park we went to when I was pregnant and we saw the spider lilies.

So due to the fact that I really want Nathan, Jayden and I to be together as a family, I'm still looking around online to see what kind of other jobs I'm able to locate. I would love to be able to find something full time, but I don't know what my odds are of that happening, so for now I'm looking at possibly taking up another part time job and letting one know I can only open and the other I can only close. The dairy queen near me is hiring, but I see myself getting super fat if I work there..haha! I say this only b/c I would probably eat a lot of ice cream since I think you get it for free if you do work there. However it might be worth a shot since I have yet to be able to find anything else at this point. I will say though, I still really love my job and I like that I'm getting around 24ish hours a week, b/c I'm sure that once my pay check comes it will be a good lump sum..or so I hope at least.

Jayden is now sitting in his swing at 10pm and is fussing but I'm hoping it's the kind of fussing that will turn into sleep, but I'm not so convinced of that. I think the swing is moving to quickly for him to relax. (I'm about to go fix that right now)

I'm going to my counseling meeting tomorrow. I'm not really sure what to expect, but I hope it will be helpful to me. If after the first session I feel that nothing was accomplished and I have the feeling that going back for more sessions won't benefit me any, then I probably won't continue with it b/c it's so freaking expensive. I am hoping though that I will be able to come up with something to help me, but if not I suppose it will be okay, b/c I have a strong support system around me. :-)

I'm trying to think if there is anything else I was going to talk about..??  I don't think so, but I'm sure if there is, I will get another request to update my blog. Though, I kind of feel like I keep blogging about the same things..I guess b/c that's pretty much what's on my mind and what's been going through my head lately...though I do wonder...has Nathan updated his blog???  ...probably not...lol!   Welp, until next time...

xoxo's
~Sarah~

Life:

Well I must say, things in my life are going really well these days! I LOVE my job and I look forward to going every time. I wasn't sure about it at first, but after my last shift I realize just how much I enjoy what I do. I hope to, at some point, be promoted to full time so I can pick up more hours than 20 a week. It kind of sucks that I won't ever be allowed to exceed that, but I suppose it also allows me to pick up a second job and not be to overwhelmed. I like the freedom and relaxed environment that a department store provides over a smaller retail store. I also like the fact that I have more responsibility and they trust us to do things like close and open registers without management over looking us. I like the fact that as long as I get the store recovered by the end of my shift, I have the freedom to work at my own pace and not feel like I need to constantly be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. It's really nice to know I can leave the clothes on the rack for a couple of hours and get to them when I have to put them back. It's such a difference from working at express that I absolutely love, the only thing I'm not to keen on is the fact that we are supposed to get 1 person to open a credit card every week.....

hold that thought...projectile spit up down my shirt needs attention...ugh! ....oh the joys of being a mommy!
Mission complete...okay, now where was I...??

AH! ...That has proven to be a challenge b/c with todays economy, more and more people are afraid of lowering their credit scores and opening up cards, that either they already have one, or aren't allowed by their significant other. I'm not to worried about it though, b/c there's no sense in stressing over it until I need to.

On another note, Jayden is doing wonderful, eating solid foods now and absolutely loving the peas and green beans. (the sweet potatoes give him a belly ache) He also really likes his rice cereal. He is growing up to be a big boy and eats 6 ounces now in his bottle without a problem. If I feed him some solid foods, I lower it to only 4 ounces, since his belly is also full with the solid food. It seems to be working out really well now and he's just so precious, we really are so lucky he is such a great baby! Yesterday I got this bright idea to move him into my sisters room. (She isn't living at home anymore b/c she's at grad school, and when she is home she tends to sleep downstairs anyways.) He had been sleeping in my room in the pack and play, and that was working out alright, but now that's he's getting older it's easier to put him to bed and close the door and tune out the noises for him. (In my room I wasn't able to do that b/c I still had to get ready for bed myself, and it was proving to be more of a challenge getting him to sleep at night, and stay asleep.) This way he is able to sleep in his room as long as he wants and I have a monitor that allows me to hear him if he wakes up for any reason in the night. I also LOVE that I have the space back in my closet and more space in my bedroom. It's nice to have my own place again. ...Though I will say, my main reason for moving him into his own room was because when Nate and I move into our house, Jayden will  have his own room, and I thought that by doing it now, it would make the transition easier for him. It wouldn't be as hard going into his own room in a new house with different noises than he is used to, and he will adjust easier than just at once. It worked out really well and I got a much better nights sleep b/c I wasn't woken with every move he made, and he wasn't woken up with my movement. I think the transition will go smoothly and now that we have him on a schedule, he's doing a lot better.

Mom and I went swimming suit shopping today, and she found one she really loved, and I found one I thought was alright. I really liked the style, but I wasn't 100% sure about the color. The one I liked the most was deep purple, though I did find a pattern that was black, green, blue, and white, that I also liked.  This store is neat b/c you can customize your own suit, and pick out the style you love, and then they will order it for you in the size and color you choose. I am now stuck b/w wanting to create my own, or just going with the flattering deep purple one. I'm just not sure. The only thing is if you create your own and hate it, you're stuck with it. So IDK yet what I'm going to do about that, I suppose only time will tell.  :)

My mom and I just went on adventure with Jayden around my backyard and took lots of really cool looking pictures of him. I'm going to post them now on facebook so if you want to see them you can look there. :-)

I know I was going to blog about more...but at the moment that's all I can think of...not to mention a certain tiny human is vying for my attention..so I'm getting off of here until later!

Adios!

~Sarah~

Dejavu

I'm beginning to get dejavu already. Tonight, just as I had finished getting ready for work, the phone rang. I answered it and on the other end, in a frantic voice was a person asking for somebody, I said hello again, and it turned out to be my manager. She was calling to tell me that she was way over on hours and it was slow there so I didn't need to go into work tonight. I was alright with it initially, b/c my mom had to work and I didn't want to leave a fussy baby at home with my dad. However, after realizing this is what happened to me at express, I started thinking I hope this doesn't become a routine. I then called the store back around 7:40pm b/c I hadn't heard back from my manager when she said she'd call and give me my schedule for the upcoming week. Well when I called she said she hadn't gotten a chance to look it over yet and then gave it me anyways. It turns out I'm only working 3 days. Which isn't terrible, but if I end up getting called off again later in the week it will only be 2 days and that's just not going to cut it since Nate and I are trying to save up for a place. Well anyways, as I was talking with Nathan later on, he made a good point when he said I should probably start looking around at other jobs. At first I thought maaaan, I just got started here, but after about 10 minutes of thinking it through, it really would be the smartest option for me. I then decided I would keep looking for jobs elsewhere and then change around my availability. I would let Belk know I can only close, and let the other place know I can only open..or vice versa. Either way, I know now that having a back up job would be best. That way if I get called off at Belk several times a week, I would at least have the other job as a back up for income. If the other job proves to be successful and offers more hours, I can always leave Belk and pick up that one full time. It seems to me to be the best thing to do, and I know now that it's much needed. I think I could handle 2 jobs and a baby, and I know it would make Nathan feel a lot better if I was working more hours over less. I guess it's back to craigslist and snagajob to see what else is out there. I'm kind of wishing I had gone on those other 2 interviews when they came around, but oh well it's okay. One was all the way up in mooresville and that's really out of the question to drive there anyways. The other one, I saw they were only hiring about 3 people, so that probably wouldn't have gone well anyways...and I already had my job at Belk, and I wasn't sure yet what my hours and would look like, so I dind't want to over do it in case they offered me more than just 3 days a week. Oh well, now I can just find something ever more awesome to apply my skills to. :-)

On another note, this routine thing with Jayden is going really well. So I suppose an upside to me not working a whole lot right now, is that I'm able to really stick with it and get him into one that will be good for both of us that Nathan will be able to adapt to easily as well when we all move in together. The past 3 nights Jayden has been in bed by 10pm and sleeps through the entire night until about 7:30am. Which is AWESOME! It really helps me out and makes me feel less tired during the day b/c I'm able to get a good nights sleep and I'm not a cranky butt when I get up in the mornings. He also has been sleeping on his tummy (even though they say back is best). It just seems to work out for him, and when I was little I slept on my tummy all the time and I turned out fine. Tonight he fell asleep in his swing so I put him to sleep on his back. I decided to make this the tester night, and if for whatever reason he wakes up a lot at night, I will know that he must always sleep on his tummy. If that ends up being the case, we will have to figure out where he's going to sleep at Nathan's. Right now we have him sleeping in his rocker when he's down there, which he does alright with, but if the tummy thing is the trick, then he won't be able to sleep in that for much longer...not to mention he's kind of growing out it. LOL!

I decided I'm going to start reading this book my sister got me for graduation. It's called "Bitches on a budget" and it's supposed to give good advice to staying in style when you don't have a lot of extra money to spend on nice things. I think it will be good if I can figure out how to buy things without breaking the bank everytime. I have figured this out when it comes to Jayden, and I only buy diapers and things if I have a coupon or they are on sale. I think it's time I apply this to myself as well, b/c when we have our own house, every little bit we can save will certainly help. Speaking of...I thought of such a smart thing earlier today. I decided that when we need to buy dish detergent, toilet paper, paper towels..and other home essentials like that, I should get them from the dollar store so we don't spend like 5 bucks on a bottle of soap. I found out, the other day when I was there, that they have the exact same quality soap in the big size bottles for just 1 dollar!!!  And that will REALLY help us out when we move. I also have to go in and ask if they take coupons, b/c if so, I get some for like 50 cents off and a dollar to 2 dollars off, and maybe I could walk out of the dollar store with 20 thiings and only have spent like 10 dollars! That would be awesome, but it's something I have to look into, b/c IDK if they will take them or not.

Well, I think that about covers it for tonight. Since my pee-wee is in the bed early, I think I'm going to follow him, since I have to work tomorrow in the afternoon, and I don't want to be tooooo tired. :-)

Much Love,

~Sarah~

Wow!

Well my first day on the job went alright. It wasn't as terrible as I thought, but now I'm required to get somebody to open a credit card on saturday night when I work. :(  That kind of sucks, but hopefully I'll be able to get it, if not there's a possibility that I will have to work at a table in the entrance to the mall and solicit the credit card to every customer that way, and that would totally suck. But I suppose only time will tell.

On another note, getting Jayden into a routine isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I decided today that I was going to work on getting him up every morning at 8am, and getting him to bed by 10pm. That gives me time to unwind at night before falling asleep, and if I don't go to sleep until midnight, I'm still getting 8 hours of sleep, which, after a week or so, should be enough that I won't feel so exhausted anymore. :)

Jayden had his 4 month check up and that went well and he is growing along great at 13lbs 4 oz and 23 2/4 inches long! He is getting so big, Almost doubled his birth weight of 7lbs 14oz. Not to much longer and I bet he is crawling and then starting to sit up by himself. The doctor told us we could start feeding Jayden solids now, so today my mom and I bought some peas, green beans, carrots, squash, and one other vegetable for him to start trying at the grocery store. We have started him on the rice cereal as just cereal and he has been doing really well with that and is eating a lot of it. We find that if we give it to him in the afternoon, he's not as fussy at night and is more willing to eat it as opposed to the morning or evening hours when he's super duper hungry. I'm looking forward to watching him eat the peas and I hope he doesn't spit them out to much!

On another note, I have decided that I'm officially going to be starting some kind of therapy for my anxiety. It's picking back up now that I'm working again, and it's making going to work no fun. It feels like a chore instead of something fun. I'm at the point where it's day 2 and I already want to quit b/c my anxiety has gotten so bad. I go to work and start freaking out and just want to remove myself from the situation, but I know I can't b/c I need a job and I need to keep working, so I know it's to the point where I need to do something about it. I realized it's something that has been with me since I was younger and I can't get it to go away on my own without some professional help. I am doing this now b/c I don't want it to start to take a tole on my relationship with Nathan (which I'm afraid might happen if I don't get help now), and I fear that if I don't do it soon, when we move in together it might get bad and I may take it out him, when it's not his fault and it's just my anxiety acting up....and I don't want him to feel like I'm always complaining or lashing out at him for little things that shouldn't bother me. So I have decided that going to therapy or talking to somebody and possibly having to be on medicine will be a good thing so it doesn't end up getting to that point. I would hate to have that be the reason we don't get along, especially since we have gotten along so great up until this point. I know it's a huge stepping stone in my life, but with all the things I hope to accomplish this year I know it's certainly something for the best!

Speaking of, I have set several goals for myself this year. Goal #1 was to get a job, which I have accomplished! Goal #2 is to move in with Nathan, which we are working on. Goal #3 is to get all the information I need about going back to school. Goal #4 is to go back to school and major in medical office administration. I want to work in an OBGYN office or something along those lines I do believe. It would be something that would provide stable hours and offer benefits and a decent rate of pay. Goal #5 would be...well let's actually make this Goal #1.5 get started on anxiety therapy. I know this will be an on going goal, but it's certainly loooong over due and something I need to get started with right away. :-) Goal #6 is to save up lots of money so I can get Nathan that best christmas present ever! I'm sure I have some more, but as of right now those are pretty much the biggest ones on my list.

Anyways, It's 11pm and Jayden was in bed before 10 tonight, so I think I'm going to head that way so I can get some decent sleep since I have to work tomorrow night. Love Love!

<3 Sarah <3

Anxiety

Oh boy, well my anxiety has kicked back in. I hate it when this happens but I kind of figured it was only a matter of time before it was going to show up. I start my job tonight and I've been really anxious b/c I don't know how it's going to go. It's a lot different than I'm used to and idk if somebody will be there to help me if I run into a problem during my shift tonight. I only hope it doesn't stay this way for long. I hope once I get the hang of things it goes away. I was talking to my mom the other at lunch and was telling her about it and how I think I should start to go to counseling for it. I'm at the point that whenever it hits me it's so bad I can't really function. I only want to sleep and not think about anything, and with this new job and having to adjust to working again it's coming back and I'm not sure what to do to make it go away. I'm hoping if this ends up being the case and I end up going to counseling that I'm able to start it soon, b/c idk what to do when it gets this bad. I know with everything that's going to be happening throughout this year that it's going to keep coming back if I don't get some help and figure out what to do to help myself when it hits me. When I look back to when I was younger, I realize I have been dealing with this for years and years, I just never knew how to explain it anybody or rather what was happening to me. It sucks that I'm only just realizing it now, but I do need to do something about it so I can get on with living my life and not worrying about starting a new activity or trying something new because of fear that it's only just going to flare up again. When I think about all of the things I could have done but didn't b/c of it, it kind of is sad. I would have done way more things in high school and probably also in college if I wasn't so worried about having to deal with my anxiety. I just hope I'm able to get through it and not let it effect my working tonight. I'm really worried about messing up and not knowing how to solve the issue at work. Also I hope I don't end in a jam and there's nobody around to help me, b/c that would be the worst. ...well I guess I will write back more later, but for right now I have to hop off of here, eat, and get Jayden ready for his doctor's appointment in a little bit!
Until Later..

~Sarah~

My Adventures!

OH MAN! So this weekend was sooooo much fun! Nathan and Tanner took me fishing on the lake and it was soooo much fun! I never thought I would be one to like fishing, but I actually had a really fun time! It was so much fun sitting in the row boat going out on the lake and trying to catch fish. The fish weren't really biting to much, but I did catch the first fish! About an hour after that Nathan finally caught one, but unfortunately for Tanner, he was unsuccessful in catching anything. It was alright b/c we still really had a lot of fun, and it was hilarious to watch the boys rowing the boat. They would be on a role and we'd get really far, then all of a sudden one of them would get tired so we would start to go in a circle b/c one was rowing faster than the other...i think they finally got the hang of it by the time we were headed back to the boat house, but it was really funny to watch. Next time we go out I think we won't use such huge oars. They have ones you can rent which are much smaller and look like they would be a lot easier to use. We are trying to figure out when we go out again, and i'm not really sure. We were contemplating this sunday, but tanner won't be around, so we will have to work it out b/w the three of our schedules. Either way, it should be really fun.

After fishing we came back to the house and got all cleaned up and de-fish smell. After that we decided to go the delicious chinese food buffet place where they have the coconut chicken i really liked! It was quite tasty, but I will say that the chicken wasn't quite as I remembered it to be. It was still good, but there's no way I would ever be able to eat more than one small helping of it, it's way to sweet for that. After stuffing our faces with food, we headed over to Nathan's grandma's house for a little while to visit with everybody. After visiting with them for about an hour we then droppd off Tanner and headed back to the house to watch some Dexter and get to sleep. I had to be up early the next morning so I could go in for training at my new job.

Speaking of training..OMG, was that terribly long! I went in at 10am thinking I probably wouldn't be there for more than like maybe an hour or two and I ended up not getting out of there until 3:45pm! I couldn't believe how long it was taking to get through everything! aaaaand, I still have about 5 hours left of training to complete!! It was awful! I also thought it was really strange how they teach you how to use the regster on the computer...it's not like any training i've ever been through before. I'm used to them actually showing you on a register what to do and walking you through the steps of first things to do when you arrive every day. Needless to say it's nothing like that. It's more like, this is all the potential things you will run into as you work...here's all the information you need to know and we're giving it to you now..so you better pay attention and not forget it when you need to..even if it's not pertinent to use for another 3 months!!  It's really weird..i'd rather be taught how to do something when I can apply it the job. I learn and pick up things easier that way. oh well, at least I know now after talking with Lacy that they don't train you on the register at all, so now when I get to that point i'll be sure to take extra care in learning how it's done. Well after I finished with what I could get through I headed back to Nathan's to check on Jayden. I decided since Nathan had the day off, I would leave him down there so he could spend some time with him while I was training and I would come back down after I was done...thinking it wouldn't take as long as it did. Anyways, after getting back to his house I chatted with his family for a bit, and then went and talked to him about my crazy day.

After that we didn't do a whole lot since both of were pretty tired. Now it's another day and I'm finishing this up and getting ready to head back to my house so I can get ready for another looooong and, more than likely, boooooring day of training. I will be anxious to actually get out on the floor and start helping customers where needed. I think I'm supposed to be working in sports wear but I'm honestly not really sure. I just hope the first day I'm not out there by myself in case I run across questions and don't have an answer for them. I'm thinking it will all go well, but I suppose at this point only time will tell! Well more on that later after I've started working officially.

Until Then.....

~Sarah~

Happy Valentines Day!

Today has been a wonderful day! I love Nathan so much, and I'm glad he had the day off so we could spend it together. This morning we went up to Rock Hill and went shopping. I picked up some more formula and Nathan got me some new boots for Valentine's that will be great for work. He also got me season 3 of Dexter and a heart coffee mug and a monkey that said Happy Vday on it. It was so thoughtful of him. I love him so much, and I'm glad we were able to have a great day....though I do wish my cookies I baked for him came out a little bit better than they did, maybe next time I will have perfected them. :\   After we finished shopping we came back and checked on Jayden, who was snoozing away like a stinker. But that was okay, b/c it gave us some down time to run and get lunch and eat before he awoke. When he finally got up, he ate his bottle and then stayed up and played with us for a little bit. During which we watched a whole bunch of dexter and have now finished half of the season. Not to much more left, but it's such a great show I bet we will finish it before to long. Now I'm sitting in his room blogging for a bit and checking my email while he watches his show justified. After I'm done in here I'll go rescue little man from him and put him back down for a nap. I think he's still a little tired. And then I will hang out until we decide what to do next. Alrighty, I'm out of things to say, so for now I'm hopping off of here and seeing what tiny is up to.
Until Later...

~Sarah~

Next Couple Of Days..

Soooo, I finally finished Nathan's Valentines Day present today. I wasn't quite convinced that the first part turned out okay, so I had to do some last minute re-thinking, but I think I did okay, and I can't wait for Nathan to see what it is. :-)

I finally went and got another bin to start compiling with Jayden's 3-6 month size clothing as he starts to grow out of it. I already have 3 things in it, and I'm sure it won't be to much longer before I start to add more. I also picked up some other necessities like a make-up brush and things such as that. I have decided I'm going to start wearing make-up on a daily basis now. I feel more confident with it on, and since I only wear it natural looking, I like the way it make my eyes pop out more. It just gives me that extra confidence boost that I sometimes need from time to time. I also am going to shave everyday...in fact Nathan said if I could keep my legs shaved for 1 week straight he would shave his...I said challenge accepted...so now we will see if he keeps up his end of the deal. haha! :-)

I still haven't heard back from Belk yet, but I only just filled out my background check information yesterday and they did tell me it might take awhile, up to 2 weeks. But I'm hoping it won't be THAT much longer. I"m anxious to start working and learn the ropes of a new company and also to start getting a pay check. It will be nice to know I'm getting some income and I won't have to rely on everybody to buy things like diapers and formula as needed.

Now I'm chilaxing and thinking about what I need to get together for tomorrow when Jayden and I will make a trip down to visit daddy at some point. It'll probably be later in the afternoon, but that's okay. More time to sleep in!! Hopefully I won't decide to stay up until 3am and then sleep in until 12:30pm again. That just killed me today. I was so exhausted when Jayden woke up to eat at 8:15am. I ended up turning on Nick Jr. and putting him in his swing where he stayed for 4 hours before waking me up at approx. 12:15pm. But then I got things accomplished that I needed to get done, so it was all good! :-)

Well, I'm thinking I should probably get off of here and start thinking about what I need to get packed and (oh crap, i forgot to switch over my laundry) get Jayden settled down for bed. G-ma is giving him a bath right now as we speak, but I think it's time I take over and spend some time with my little goober!
Well TTFN...

<3 Sarah <3

YAY!

Part 1 of 2 is complete. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to successfully complete part 2. :-)  Okay that is all for now..it's almost 2am..i should probably go to bed otherwise i'm bound to be a cranky butt tomorrow. Anyways, feeling more accomplished that I have in a very long time! I sorted through the mess in the hallway and put some of my stuff in a box to be stored until a later date. I cleaned my room, shopped around online, and managed to get little man to bed all before midnight! Oh, I also managed to get my laundry done as well. After all this I just piddled around online and now am regretting it and think my tiny man might be waking up..well that being said I should probably catch some zzz's while I still can! :)  goodnight loves!

~Sarah~

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait....

It is true what they say, good things do in fact come to those who wait. I went in for an interview today at Belk and walked out with a job! I will now be working in the sports clothing department? or something like that. Yesterday night I got a phone call from the manager asking if I could come in for an interview today and I of course didn't hesitate in saying yes. Well when I showed up today he interviewed me and then asked if I had moment because he wanted to see if one of the other managers was there to do a second interview with me. I over heard him telling her he thought I had potential and was wondering if she had a moment to do a second interview with me. She did, and so right away I got to do a second interview. When that happened I had a really good feeling about the interview and that it must be going well. I really wanted to get this job, b/c I had a good feeling about it night before and the day of. Well after she was done interviewing me she told me she thought she might have a place for me and would have Dan, the initial guy who interviewed me, contact me with more details. (he had already gone back out on the floor and she didn't want to disturb what h was working on) So I thanked her and proceeded to head out and wait for him to contact me further. Well when I walked out, I passed him and shortly after that he came tracking me down. When he did he brought me into his office and told me he had an opening in that department and was wondering if that sounded good to me. I immediately said of course, and was hired right then and there. It's only part time for now, but has lots of potential to get more hours and become full time if I do really well and meet my goals and exceed them. That was great to hear and I couldn't believe it! It also pays decently and I will be making 8.50 an hour with the potential to increase that if I work hard and do well. That was so exciting, and I knew right away I had to tell Nathan. I knew he would be relieved to hear I got a job and so quickly at that! ...well sort of....  but I knew I wanted him to be the first to know and I told him to call me when he had a chance. I told him right away when he called and he was so proud. :-)  It made my day and I feel so much better knowing that I have a job and can start to help save up money for when we move into our house, whenever the time might be. Not to mention it will also be good b/c now I can get him his super awesome birthday present that I really wanted to do for him!!!  Now all I have to figure out is what to do for Valentine's Day...aside from my one idea. But anyways, I was really happy to have acquired this job. I had a really good feeling about it going into the interview today and as it turns out, my gut feeling was right! :-)  Icouldn't be more happy than I am right now, and I'm so glad I'm finally getting things on track to start a new journey! I will begin working probably in about 2 weeks and once that starts I will try and work as much as possible in the beginning. I want to be able to save up as much money as I can and help out as much as possible! I miss being able to spoil Nathan and surprise him with little things. My intentions are always good, but I didn't always have the means to be able to do what I wanted, and now that I have a job I will be able to being treating him again...and he def. deserves it, especially after all he has done for us this past year! Well, this mama is tired, so I'm getting off of here and heading to bed. Good Night World!

~Sarah~

Job Hunt

WOW!  I have been actively applying and putting in applications everywhere I see a sign for now hiring. I have, since then, set up 4 interviews! I have one tomorrow at Belk, and then another one on Wednesday for this tea place called Teavana. I'm really hoping the one tomorrow at Belk goes really well and maybe they will hire me on the spot, so I can start working right away. If, for whatever reason, it doesn't end up going well, I hope the Teavana one does. Both of these places are in the mall and I like the atmosphere of working there. You are busy most of the time, but not so much that you won't have some down time from time to time. It's where I have experience working and I feel comfortable working in that type of an environment...not to mention it would be the easiest transfer if Nathan and I move somewhere, I mean there are Belk stores everywhere, so that would easy enough to move on with. Also, it's probably the job that would offer me the most hours and highest rate of pay. I'm hoping to be able to acquire at least 8 dollars an hour if 10 is just to much. I also would love to have a full time position, but idk how likely that would be, and honestly starting off part time is probably the best considering Jayden is here and I would need to watch him when I wasn't working. That being said, my mom is willing to help out and watch him on days I would have to work. I'm so lucky she is so great and will do this for us. Not many people would, and it really helps out b/c then I don't have to try and find a babysitter or other form of childcare when I would be working...not to mention she will do it for free and I won't have to worry about losing some of my pay check each time for her services...that being said, I would of course treat her to lunch or dinner to as her payment for helping me out so much and watching Jayden. :-)     My other two interviews were both in Birkdale. One was for a bridal salon, and the other was for a local boutique. The bridal salon interview, in my opinion, didn't go to well, so I'm not really holding my breath for that one. The local boutique, Bevello, went alright..but I'm not sure it's the best fit for me. However, if they do call and offer me the position, I won't turn them down b/c I really do need a job. That being said, if I do get the offer from Belk, I will accept theirs without hesitation, b/c I think, ideally, it's the most practical one for me as of right now. But I suppose only time will tell, and I'm still continuing to put out applications to various places just in case, for whatever reason, none of these end up panning out. Though wouldn't it be funny if I was offered all 4 jobs?! wow! That would be nuts! IDK what I would do. I might accept 2 and work at them both part time, and go from there. That would seem like an okay idea. :-)  but, like I said, only time will tell. But anyways, I'm really excited about this and I can't wait to see how my interview will go tomorrow. Wish me luck!

~Sarah~

New Things.

So I started looking around online for jobs, and I found this website called "snagajob" and I found several jobs that I could apply for, and I did. And thus far I have two interviews from it. The first one I went on already and it was for a bridal salon. It was very short lasting no more than 10 minutes. I'm not so sure how it went, she liked that I had open availability and that I lived within 10 minutes, but otherwise I'm not sure how it went. The other interview I have is for a new store in the mall called teavana. It specializes in selling teas and tea accessories. I have the interview on the 15th at 2:40pm and I'm hoping it will go well.

I'm really excited to hopefully get a job and start that new chapter in my life. Things are going really great with Nathan and I and we are getting closer and closer to being able to move out and start house hunting. Once I'm able to find a job and start having some money to bring in I will feel better about everything. I am finally in a routine with Jayden that now is the perfect opportunity to acquire a job and start working. I'm looking forward to getting one soon so I will also have that social outlet in my life. The lack of friends around here is getting harder and harder to deal with. I keep finding myself getting very bored and needing something to do aside from just hanging out at the house.

I have also decided I'm going to start walking around the neighborhood everyday. I have warm clothes I can bundle Jayden into and also light ones if it's a nice day. I was going to walk today, but it's one of those crappy days out and it looks like it might rain. I would hate to start walking with Jayden and then get caught in the rain and have to rush back to the house in a hurry, only to end up soaking wet. So I decided I would start my walk tomorrow, assuming it will be nicer outside. :-)

But yeah, aside from that not to much has been going on. We did venture down to Nate's dads house for the superbowl, and that was a lot of fun. We spent some time with his family and even got to see Ashly again. It's always nice to go down there and socialize with them for awhile. :-) Unfortunately our trip down to visit daddy was cut short b/c I had to get back for my interview, but it was okay b/c at least I was going to a potential job. I'm waiting to hear back from them, but idk how long that will be. Oh well, I'm hoping for the best, but who knows? I suppose only time will tell. But for now I'm still continuing my hunt and filling out applications every time I can.

Well I'm going to get off of here and go change my little man.

~Sarah~

Potential Job..

Yay! I scored an interview at a bridal salon in town. I applied there sort of on a whim and sent them a resume hoping for the best, but not really expecting to hear anything back. Within 24 hours of sending the email, I got a response and they would like for me to come in for an interview on monday. I'm still waiting to hear back from them as to what time, but I'm excited to go on the interview. I was watching bridal shows last night on TLC and I was thinking how it would be a lot of fun to work there, but I never thought I'd get a response back this quickly. I'm going in hoping for the best but I'm still not entirely sure how I will stack up next to the competition. I don't know that much about bridal gowns or formal wear, but I do catch on quickly and I'm willing to put in the effort and learn as much as I can. I hope they are willing to take a risk and hire me, b/c I know I will do everything in my power to learn as much information as I can and perform the job well. I suppose it's only a matter of time and then I will know. But for now Im just glad I heard anything back! :)

New Day.

Yea! Last night went a lot more smoothly. This new routine is definitely working for our little man. I have switched Jayden's formula intake so that now he is getting 6oz every 4 hours and this seems to be working. He wakes up and eats, then he plays for about an hour or two and then naps for a little bit and plays some more and then we repeat the process every 3 1/2 or 4 hours. At night I have added rice cereal to his bottle which seems to keep him tied over for longer and he sleeps better and falls asleep when I put him down instead of being fussy for 3 hours and then finally falling asleep.

Today we haven't done too much, just spent the day at home trying to get accustomed to the new routine. I don't want to mess up to much of it while he is trying to get adjusted to something new. I'm thinking if I can get him into bed by 10 at the latest every night, that's pretty good. That allows me to get to sleep a little earlier and that's better for everybody in the long run. :)

Tomorrow Ashly is going to come and visit with Jayden. I'm not sure yet what we will do when she is here, but if the weather is nice, we may go for a walk or watch movies or something, but it will be fun indeed. I know she loves spending time with Jayden so I don't mind that she comes to visit us. :)

Right now I'm feeding Jayden his last bottle before bed and just finished watching American Idol with mom. He is taking awhile to eat because he keeps wanting to chit-chat with me. It's to cute when he talks, but when I want him to eat, he always wants to talk and talk. He is such a silly little boy, but it's okay, because i love him!! :)

~mom out~

Biltmore Trip

This Sunday Nathan and I decided to take a day trip up to The Biltmore Estate in Asheville. We were going to do something last weekend when he had the weekend off, but the weather was crappy and we hoped that maybe Brandon and Amber would be able to come if we postponed it a week. Well as it turned out they weren't able to come b/c Brandon wasn't able to get the day off of work, but it was alright b/c it was beautiful day and we had a lot of fun. Nathan had never been before and I knew he would really like to see the house and the grounds b/c it's so pretty there. I had never been to the winery and really wanted to walk around there for a little bit. Well we had reservations to enter the house at 12pm, so we got up early and left the house about 9:30am making it to asheville around 11:30ish. When we got to the house we quickly got on the shuttle and headed to the house. When we arrived we got to see how beautiful the landscaping was and were amazed at the size of the place! It was just as i remembered. We still had a little bit of time to kill before we could enter the house so we walked around the gift shop for a little bit and looked at things there. After that we toured the house and got to see lots of really cool things. It was so neat and I couldn't imagine growing up there. I kept thinking how it would take me 20 minutes or so to find the dining room every day. I could just imagine getting lost and needing a cell phone to find anybody else in the house b/c it's so large! After we walked around and toured the house, we decided to check out the gardens and walk around there. It wasn't as beautiful as it would have been if it was spring or summer (mostly b/c everything was dead, since it was winter) but it was still really pretty to see the trails and plants they had out. They had these really weird trees that grew upward like a pitch fork, it was really weird, but also really cool. And we walked through the conservatory and saw all the exotic plants and trees. It was really nice in there. After that we proceeded to walk down to the boat house and follow the path. After we got to the boat house we headed back to the house to catch the shuttle back to the car so we could make our way to the winery and antler village. Once we got to antler village we were so hungry we decided to stop in to a place called Cedric's cafe where we both ordered cheeseburgers and had a restful and delicious lunch. After lunch we made our way over to the winery and walked around there and I even sampled some wine...which was terrible and I found out I'm so NOT a wine drinker...unless it's sangria, and then it's not so bad.

After we finished up there we headed back to the car to make our way home. It was about a 2 hours drive home and once home I was exhausted! We came in and found Jayden (we left him with grandma while we went for the day), and rested up before enjoying some delicious pizza. After that we watched PAranormal Activity 3, and then half of The Hangover Part 2. After that I was in a bad mood from having dealt with trying to get Jayden back to sleep, that I said goodnight to Nathan and went to bed. He stayed up awhile longer and hung out in the theater room and putsed around on my computer for awhile before finally heading to sleep.

The next morning we got up and spent some time with little man before daddy had to go to work. After saying goodbye to him, Jayden and I came back inside and hung out and watched some TV. The rest of that day was pretty uneventful until night came and Jayden wouldn't go to sleep again and I got so upset I was crying b/c I couldn't figure out how to make him calm down and kept feeling like a bad mom b/c I was so sleepy and didn't want to mess with him anymore and didn't want to leave him to cry, but didn't know what else to do. I eventually got him calmed down and asleep by feeding him a bottle and he slept really good, Thankfully, b/c I had reached my breaking point, and finally broke down and cried myself to sleep b/c I felt so terrible.

This morning was a new day and do far he has been okay. We started him on a new routine, and I think it's working a lot better than the old one. We are feeding him 6oz every 4 hours, and the last two feedings of the night, we are adding some rice cereal to his bottle in order to keep him satisfied for longer. He is now as cute as can be and napping in his bouncer. He just dozed off so I will leave him rest for a little while before stirring him up to change and feed him for the last time before bed. I love him so much and, although at times i don't what i'm going to do, he is such a joy to have in my life. He is making me stronger every day and I'm so happy he's here. He's just so cute and lovable, idk how anybody could say differently. :)

I'm still very anxious to get out of this house and into a place with Nathan, but I know that will come when the time is right. Speaking of Nathan, I have been racking my brain and trying to figure out what I'm going to get him for Valentine's day. I have his birthday present all figured out and picked out already, but that's not until May...Valentine's is 14 days away and I have no clue what i'm going to do, but I hope i can think of something soon. I have one idea, but it's kind of stupid so idk if i will do that..Last year I got him a red dragon egg with the dragon hatching out of it and i think he liked that, but idk what to do. I was trying to think of something cool and my sister is getting her b/f a watch, but i did that for our anniversary on the 1st, so i'm not sure what i'll think of...but i know whatever it is, it's going to be great..or so i hope! lol! :)

Anyways, it's tuesday night, so you know what that means...all of my shows are on..glee, new girl, teen mom 2, switched at birth...it's the best night of the week, but that means that since it's 8:20pm I've got to get off of here and start watching them! :)

G'Night World!
<3 Sarah <3

Jayden, Jayden, Jayden...

What am I going to do with your tired self? It has been like this now for the past 3 weeks...Trying to get you to fall asleep at night has been about a 3 hour process every night. I'm going to be glad when you will lie there and stay asleep when I put you in bed, instead of sleeping for 10 minutes and waking up and crying your head off for 30 minutes, like you are doing now. Oh boy, I just might have to come scoop you up in a few minutes if you don't stop...

On another note...I got a lot accomplished. 

...and then i fell asleep...

A Little Bit Of Everything..

I have needed to get on here and update this for awhile but haven't had access to my own computer making it a little more difficult to keep up with this on a day to day basis. (That's a looooong story, but I'll find time to throw that one in here too.) Let's see here...I guess I will start with tonight: 

Jayden, Jayden, Jayden..What am I going to do with you at night?! It seems like this little man just doesn't want to go to bed. I guess he takes after me, b/c I was always afraid I would miss out on something and I never wanted to go to bed when I was younger, It would seem that my son is no different. Tonight I stared to put him to bed at around 8:30pm. He was sucking down a bottle and about half way through it he fell asleep. I thought "Okay, let me try and put him in his bed and see if he will fall asleep." Well that was a mistake, b/c as soon as i moved him into the room he woke right up. Well since this was only the first try and he still had half a bottle left I wasn't to mad. I thought I would try and have him finish up the last of the bottle in his bed in hopes he would drift off back to sleep. No such luck. I then picked him up out of bed and brought him into the other room with me for awhile. Well he started fussing again so i made another bottle for him. This time he also fell asleep and so i thought i would wait a bit before trying to move him. Well once again when i finally did go to move him he woke right up. I then tried everything in my power to get him to sleep. I left him to to cry for 7 minutes in hopes he would nod off and go to bed, unsuccessful. I tried patting his belly and rubbing his back..I even tried reading him some stories, and nothing was working. Well at this point I had been fighting with him to go to sleep for about 3 hours..and I was beginning to get frustrated and annoyed. You see, this has become a nightly ritual around here, where it takes him 3 hours to go to bed. Well since I have been dealing with this for over a month now, it's very hard to keep my patience with him going into hour 3. Well once reading to him didn't work, I opted to bring him into the other room and put him in his swing. Once in his swing he calmed down and just stared at me and the walls. While he was swinging he started fussing and so i turned on his calming music and sure enough that did the trick and he fell sound asleep. That was about an hour ago, and I have yet to move him b/c i'm to afraid of waking him up. I think I will sleep on the couch tonight just b/c I don't have the energy to mess with him any more. I'm very tired, and need to go to sleep. OIY, so that has been my night. 

Tomorrow i'm going to be hanging out with my friend Lacy. That should be fun since I haven't seen her in forever and she has LOTS of drama to catch me up on...ears..are you prepared!? lol!  I'm curious to hear what's been going on in her world, but at the same time i know it will be quite a challenge to get a word in edge wise, but it will be okay. I have seriously been missing that social outlet these days. I really miss having friends around, and people to talk to all the time. It really hit me the other day when Nathan, Tanner and I were driving to rock hill and they were reminiscing about old times and i got really sad b/c i started thinking that all my friends i can do that with don't hardly talk to me anymore. especially the ones from college...we sort of had a falling out after graduation when i said i wouldn't move in with them...it got worse to once i told them i was pregnant. It hurts if i think about it for to long, so i really try not to, but that day it got to me and it was everything i could do to keep from breaking down in the car. It's just hard for me to open up to people and let them in b/c it seems that all of my close friends who i do, stop talking to me and just sort of give up on me. It's been a challenge not to shut down on nathan at times when things are really bugging me about whatever. I know he's always there to listen, but given my history with friends and what not, it's hard for me, but i'm working on it. That's why sometimes i get really quiet and don't say much...usually when something is bothering me..but i just sit quiet and try not think about it, and eventually it goes away and i'm okay again. 

But yea, i miss my social outlet, i need some people who can relate to me and understand where i'm coming from. That's why i'm glad my friend maia made contact with me the other day on fbook. She also has a son and is able to relate to all the mommy drama and life as a mom. It's hard to talk about it to people who don't have kids, b/c they can only understand to a certain extent. once you have kids your entire perspective changes, and maia would get that. It's no longer about you, it's about your child and what they need. At time i find myself lost trying to regain who i am, and needing to figure out who i am. There are times when i feel as though i have lost myself with jayden, and no longer know who i am as a person. That's why i have decided to start taking control and initiative. I'm tired of sitting around and letting things pass by me or putting things off until it's absolutely necessary. I'm going to start being proactive and figuring out who i am again. I think it's time i change something, i'm not sure what yet, but something. I'm satrting with getting a job. As of now i'm no longer giving up. I'm going to go out and fill out 100 applications if i have to, but i will be sure i have put in an application everywhere and anywhere. Even subway or the grocery stores if i have to. I need to find a job asap so nathan and i can start to look at places again. I miss him not being around all the time, especially now that Jayden is doing more things like rolling over and talking more. It always makes me feel really bad when he misses these little things. It breaks my heart that he's not around all the time to witness it. I try to go down and visit him as much as i can, but jayden isn't always gauranted to "perform" when we're down there and i feel bad. I can't imagine how hard it is for nathan, i can only imagine how he must feel..  I will say though, I find myself envying him from time to time to be able to sleep through the night without having to worry about getting up with a fussy baby, or being able to spend all day on the computer and not worry if the kid is crying or hungry. It doesn't happen often, b/c i love jayden to death, but every once and again...mostly when i'm beyond tired and he won't stop crying, do i envy nate for being able to not have to worry about it. Whoever says that being a parent is easy clearly doesn't have children!!!!  It's one of the most rewarding and yet challenging things i have ever done! I love my son's smiles and laughs and giggles, but when he's up crying and won't go to bed i'm ready to punch in the walls! But then when i hear him giggle and talk..it totally makes being up with him at night all worth it. He's such a joy and i'm so happy he's healthy and doing well! :) 

OH MAN! So I'm sooooo excited for this weekend! Nathan and I are going up to the biltmore estate, and it's going to be soo much fun! I haven't been there since high school, but from what i remember, it's really nice! :) I'm excited to walk around the house, and maybe even the winery and gardens...that i haven't ever done before, so i think it will be fun to do. We are planning to get there at noon and spend the entrie day there and just enjoy the day and spending time with each other. Brandon and Amber might even come with us if Brandon is able to get somebody to switch days with him!! :) Speaking of Brandon and Amber, we went down to their house yesterday to watch the playoff games and that was a lot of fun. It had been awhile since we had seen them and oh man is isaiah HUGE now! He looks like he's about 2 months older than Jayden when in actuality he is in fact 2 weeks younger! He is 24 inches long and i believe amber said he weighed 14 or 15 pounds already!!  He's a big boy alright! Jayden looks so little compared to him. Speaking of little and babies..I cleaned through Jaydens clothes that don't fit him and put them in a box to go in the attic until we may need to break them out again. I also sorted through about 5 boxes of clothes from nathan's uncle and kept the sizes that fit Jayden and put others in 2 boxrs to go to lisa for her baby boy. I found quite a lot of 0-3 month sizes and Jayden is just big for those now. he's in 3-6 months or 6 month sizes depending on the brand and how bug they run. In the midst of that I also cleaned through my closet and compiled a pile of clothes to pass along to kristen...she always loves coming to my house b/c i always have something for her! lol! She probably hasn't had to buy a pair of jeans in about 3 years b/c i keep giving her all of mine! haha!! Which i'm sure she loves! :) 

The other day i came up with a to-do list, mostly b/c i keep saying i'm going to do things and keep putting them off or forgetting about them. This time i wrote them all down and have just about completed the list. I have only a few more things to do, one of which is go make copies of pictures and run some errands to buy laundry detergent and shampoo. haha! Speaking of laundry, i finally got caught up on it, and have nothing left to do! I also got super bored earlier today and cleaned my bathroom. I unclogged the shower drain, cleaned the shower, toilet, and tub, swept and mopped the floors, and even washed the shower curtain!!  (I have been needing to do that since about April or so..lol) But yea, I feel really accomplished and feel good that i have been getting things done, and i'm going to keep up with this..I like feeling this way! :) 

One last thing before I head to bed...I broke out my journal the other day and wrote in it. It was the first time in a loooong time i had needed to visit it. I mostly use my journal if i am wrestling with my emotions or have some sort of dilemma i need to figure out and can't talk to anybody about. After writing in it to out my problem that day, I went back and re-read some of my older entries. The ones from college were the worst. I was soooo stressed out and annoyed with my friends it was terrible. They were really bad to me, and it's all shown there. In fact, my entire journal is in extremes...it's either something that has happened that is super happy, or something that is really bothering me and kind of depressing...unfortunately the bad outweighs then good b/c a majority of it is all in college. and it started junior year...and just got worse from there. But anyways, I had to visit it the other night b/c i was bothered with not having friends around, and how sad i was the other day, but i'm okay now, and that's what matters! :) 

I'll say one more thing b/c I don't want to leave you on that semi-sad note...

Things with Nathan and I are going great! We could not be more in love than we are now. We have been together over a year now and every day I spend with him is another wonderful day in my life. He means so much to me and I love him so much! He is always there for me if i need to vent or have a good story to tell. I think about him all the time and always hope his day is going well and that he isn't missing us too much. Though, if he misses us as much as we miss him, it's quite a lot. Despite our crazy times and our silly banter and teasing, we love each other and that's what counts. <3  

Well that's all i've got for now..I'm off to crash on the couch for probably 5 hours before the little one wakes me up b/c he's hungry. 

Until Next time.....

~One Tired Momma~