Well, Well, Well...

I guess I should start with the thing that's most prominent in my brain right now. That would have to be work. Last night at work my manager, Leslie, asked me if I wanted to be full time. She said "Sarah, since I'm giving you full time hours anyways, do you want to be full time?" I didn't really hesitate and told her yes of course. She asked if I was sure, and I said yes. When I was offered it I knew I should take it b/c Nathan and I need the money and more hours is always great, but as time went on that night and I really started thinking about it, I realized I had made a mistake for myself. Don't get me wrong, if I was working anywhere else 33-35 hours a week wouldn't be an issue, but this job at Belk is AWFUL! We are over worked, yelled at for things that are out of our control, no managers are able to be reached when we need help, it's realy stressful, and 9 out of 10 times I come home so exhausted that I don't even have the energy to take care of my son at night. That for me is a problem. I shouldn't be working at a job where I'm so overwhelmed every time I come into work that I'm driven to exhaustion by the time I get home. It's just not good for me. Anyways, that being said, I called Leslie this morning and told her after thinking about it some more, I really just don't want to have full time hours, and asked if she could drop my hours back down. (I know Nathan wasn't to thrilled when I told him, b/c I know how relieved he probably was to hear I finally got full time, but it's not worth it for me to be miserable and tired all the time.....Trust me baby, I did us both a favor...you know how I get when I'm tired..imagine me like that 24/7 b/c of work...NOT GOOD) With that though, I have promised myself that I'm going to start hunting for a second job. I'm applying to a place over in Birkdale called Talbots. It's a clothing store, but I'm sure it won't be nearly as stressful as working at Belk. I have also decided that if I'm offered the same hourly rate of pay or higher and full time hours where ever else I apply to, I'm going to take it, without hesitation. However, if they can't offer me full time hours, I'm going to tell them my availability is sunday-wednesday, and I will let Belk know that I can only work Thursday-Saturday. Which they probably won't like to much, but I need it to keep me sane, without the potential of another job, I'm going to get pushed to my breaking point if I stay there. I refuse to quit, though, no matter how bad it gets, I won't be without a job. I did that once, and finding work was a MAJOR, pain in the ass. Not to mention I'm pretty sure at that point Nathan might actually break up with me...and not just joke about it anymore. haha. but no really...i just don't know. :p  But aside from work and all the drama that is involved there, I'm doing alright. Jayden is getting cuter and cuter every day, and he's getting so close to crawling now! I'm so excited for him to get to the next step in his growing. He's such a good little boy! :-)  Nathan and I took him down to the lake the other day and he had a blast. He liked splashing in the water and eating the sand. It was a nice day trip and I enjoyed spending time with Nathan. We don't get to see other to often much these days with out work schedules being so opposite, so on the days we do have a day off together I like to spend it with him, doing, whatever. :)  Speaking of, things with us are going well. We are still getting along, and (unfortunately) still looking for a place to live. I think we both thought by this point we would have found something, but nothing seems to turn up. We aren't really rushing it, b/c we know we don't want to end up in over our heads in something we can't afford to do, but at the same time I'm so ready for us to be together and be a family. I'm ready to take on the role of "mommy" and cook and do some of the cleaning for my boys, and just enjoy each others company.....Well I'm getting distracted so I'm going to get off of here for now and find myself and tiny man some food!
...Until Later...

<3 Sarah <3