blah blog.

So my cousin is leaving friday. I'm looking forward to things returning to normal around here and it being pretty mellow all the time. I feel bad when i shut myself in my room b/c i don't want to be around people b/c i know i'll snap or because everybody is driving me nuts with their tapping or acting aniexty, that i don't like to be around them. Since she's returning home, that means we have to take her to ohio, and that's an 8 hour drive up to my grandparents, and an 8 hours ride smashed in the backseat of the car. :( oh joy! I plan on bringing my computer, ipod, and headphones so that i can drown out the annoyingness of being stuck in the back. I'm looking forward to my brother coming back home, b/c at least his anexity moments are predictable and i know when he'll start tapping. Anyways, I was wishing that i didn't have to go b/c nathan has the weekend off and i would have loved to have spent time with him. Not to mention the ride up is going to suck b/c i'm going to be cramped and have to pee often, which will drive my dad nuts having to stop every so often. Seriously the more I type I contemplate driving my own car up there. In the long run it'd be probably be better for me, but I just don't want to. Anyways, enough of this. On to something else.
I don't think I'm going to sleep very well tonight. It's already 12:15 and I'm not tired. I have a lot of things going through my head right now. I can't shut off of my brain and just relax, so I will resort to watching friends and blogging right now.
I've been told by lots of people that I'm not the jealous type and I try really hard not to be, but every once in awhile it does pop out, and I end up with green monster of envy/jealousy hanging over my head. It's never for the same reason, sometimes it's because attention is being taken away from somebody, or because i like the new shirt this girl has. Maybe it's even because the girl sitting next to me is a little skinner than me and i wonder what it'd be like to be her. Whatever the reason I find it does pop out from time to time and I can't help it. I always try to keep it at bay but after awhile it starts to creep up and I can't help but thinking all these crazy things. But usually after time it starts to go away and I forget about it, but sometimes it just stays around and I can't help it. I don't want to be the jealous type, but i just can't help it. It's like no matter how hard I try to hide it, it just keeps coming back. :/  I guess that makes me a bad person, who knows?! But I'm trying to work on it......
Anyways, enough of that, just something I was thinking about. Oh man, so it's late and I was sitting here thinking about what I used to do when it'd be late and I would have nothing to do, and I started thinking about how Nathan and I used to text all the time like 24/7 until all hours of the night. We used to stay up until sometimes 3am typing to each other about the most randomest of things. I miss those days sometimes. We would talk about everything and anything and even some other equally crazy stuff. Maybe we ran out of things to talk about, or since we started dating and seeing each other all the time we just don't text that much, but idk. I mean don't get me wrong, we talk about everything, but never until 2 or 3am and late into the day. Or when we do it's the same old same old, "how was your day? What are you up to? etc..."  kinds of questions and not a set topic like dinosaurs or something as completely crazy and out there.
Well anyways, I think I'm going to get off here and hop into some comfy clothes! Night everybody!

<3 Sarah & Jayden